Never the Same

Coming to Terms with the Death of a Parent


By Donna Schuurman
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“Theories about grieving fall mostly into one of three kinds: stages, phases or tasks. Stages have fallen out of favor, mostly because people latched onto them as if there were some orderly one-two-three way to grieve, and then be done with it.

One of the consequences of the stages theories of grief is that people may be led to believe that they’re grieving ‘incorrectly,’ that there’s some prescribed way to do it. Forget the stages. Each person’s experience is unique. When your father or mother died, you found your own individual way of coping. You didn’t follow anyone’s stages.” --Excerpts from the book

At long last, a book that doesn’t tell us how to grieve. How refreshing. How honest. How appropriate. I for one have never subscribed to the idea that anyone could tell me how to grieve and what is appropriate for me. This book seems to give each person the acceptance they need to grieve in their own individual way. It also provides insights and understanding about what it’s like to lose a parent from various viewpoints, all of them different, as we are all different, and grieve differently.

It illustrates very clearly that there are ramifications from the loss of a parent, and it will bring into focus that it’s okay to deal with it, if you haven’t before.

Also, this book does a very good job of helping those who have lost a parent at an early age to assess the damage done in their lives and to reflect on the impact

There are also worksheets that will help you identify and assess your grieving and there are also steps that you can take to heal yourself, which for me is the way to end any book about grieving.