Mark Holofcener's son, Evan, was killed last year when he was struck by a car while riding his bike near his Groton home. Since then, Holofcener claims he has contacted his son through hypnosis, and he has written a book about his ...
Journey of the Spirit

TOM SPOTH, Sun Staff
Tuesday, September 03, 2002
http://www.lowellsun.com

Mark Holofcener suddenly found himself in complete darkness, in unfamiliar surroundings.

But he wasn't afraid. This place was so peaceful, so soft, and for some reason, he felt better than he had felt in a long, long time.

And then came a voice that he hadn't heard in a long time, either. The voice of his son, Evan, who had died months before.

"Dad," Evan said. "I have so much to show you."

On Sept. 1, 2001, 13-year-old Evan Holofcener of Groton was struck and killed by a truck while riding his bicycle on Farmers Row, near his Riverbend Drive home.

For months after the accident, Evan's father, Mark along with Mark's wife of 30 years, Nancy, and their son, Ryan, 11 struggled to find a way to cope with the tragedy.

In January, Mark Holofcener went to the Weiss Institute, a psychotherapy clinic in Miami, where he was hypnotized by Dr. Lata Sonpal.

Holofcener says through hypnotism, he went into the spirit world and spoke to Evan, and has done so several times since. He now speaks passionately about his new perspective on life and death, and has detailed his experiences in a book called Evan's Earthly Adventure, released this week.

"When (Evan) died, something happened to me, a shift in consciousness that was very discernible, a break with the old world, where Evan was part of our family," Holofcener says.

"I started writing days after Evan died, but I didn't know I was writing a book," he says. "I would observe things, dream about things. Something was going on, but I didn't know what it was.

"Then, after months and months, I realized there was a book there, but I (still) didn't know what it was for."

Weeks before Holofcener says he made contact with his son, a group of Evan's friends, whom Mark had been maintaining e-mail contact with, came over to visit. Like Holofcener, they were having trouble understanding Evan's death.

"They wanted to know, is there a heaven?" says Holofcener, a former high-tech worker who gave up his career after his son's death. "I couldn't answer them at the time. I could now.

"When we're kids there are myths our parents tell us, like the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny, or Santa Claus. One day, you inevitably find out there isn't. And all these parents are telling their children that if you live a 'good life,' you'll go to heaven. The kids were thinking, 'Is this going to end up like the tooth fairy or Santa Claus?'"

Holofcener was grappling with similar questions. He claims his wife had already made contact with Evan in November through a medium, Rev. Simeon Stefanidakis, at the First Spiritual Temple in Brookline.

"Evan kept saying to Nancy, 'I'm OK,' and that's the only thing she wanted to hear," Holofcener says. "He said, 'I'm whole now,' and that he was having a really good time.

"That made Nancy feel a lot better, but it wasn't my experience. People would ask, 'Do you believe what happened to Nancy?' and I would say, 'Why should I?'"

'I lost everything I believed in'

More than four months had passed since the accident, and Mark Holofcener still could find no peace. The woman charged with killing his son, Melissa Reynolds, 24, of Ayer, had pleaded innocent to charges of motor-vehicle homicide, driving under the influence and driving to endanger in connection with the accident. She is free on personal recognizance while awaiting trial.

"All the things I thought would comfort me didn't," Holofcener says. "Not only had I lost my son, I lost everything I believed in. People say, 'Have faith,' but I don't want to have faith. I want to know."

He found his answer at the Weiss Institute, and later during sessions at the First Spiritual Temple.

"I had an incredible contact with Evan," Holofcener says. "He communicated a lot of things about his life in the spirit world. I was so blown out, I didn't remember a lot. But the session was taped, and there was no doubt I connected. After that, I didn't have to believe."

Holofcener recognizes that some people may be skeptical of his claims of spiritual contact. But it doesn't matter to him. "A million people could tell me I didn't have that experience," Holofcener says. "But I did."

A 'handbook of life'

Holofcener says that after his December conversation with Evan's friends, he decided that Evan's Earthly Adventure a title he says Evan gave him in a dream should be a "handbook of life" for teenagers.

But, he says, adults who have read drafts of the 180-page book relate to the story, too.

"It's only for people who are open," he says. "There's an inner journey, not a physical journey, that people need to take to find themselves. We don't think it's possible in this lifetime. Some people think you have to die to find it, and that's dangerous because it might be wrong.

"There are real answers, not theoretical, not abstract," Holofcener says. "You can't spend theoretical money why should people have a theoretical spiritual life that revolves around belief and faith?"

When Holofcener finished writing his book in June and "couldn't believe I had done it, and thought I could never do it again." But he says that even before the book was printed, letters of support and thanks began pouring in.

Now he plans to write another book about the aftermath of Evan's Earthly Adventure, and says he also would like to speak about the book, "in whatever venue that'll have me."

"The whole world is hurting," Holofcener says. "I think it's time for me to start speaking. I do have something to say.

"Even though we found what we found," Holofcener adds, "we still miss Evan desperately. It's not like, 'Wow, everything's great now.'

"I can never bring Evan back. But I can learn, and I'm learning painfully what I need to be learning, and I want to share that."

After hearing his son beckoning, Mark was transported to Evan's new home, a place filled with a beautiful light.

They talked about life in the spirit world, their love for each other, and Mark's new book. They had been together for only an hour when Evan turned to his father.

"You have to go," he said. "You don't belong here."